


Words

by EzzyDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 03:45:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzzyDean/pseuds/EzzyDean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sometimes I have a lot of Dean feels and those lead to random places.</p></blockquote>





	Words

**Hate**

Sometimes when the weight of the road was too much he would stop and curse every bullet on his list and when someone would remind him that he didn’t have to take on everything himself he would raise an eyebrow and shake his head.

"Who d’you think is on top of the list?"

And when they would pound on his chest and arms in those moments of pure instinct, fueled by the hurt and confusion, before they even realize what was going on or what they were seeing, they would scream and sob, tears cutting through dirty cheeks and words cutting to the bone.

 

"I hate you!"

"Yeah I know, I hate me too."  His voice a balm to soothe the hurt and stop the bleeding of broken hearts, the way he couldn’t be healed, they way he wasn’t sure he even wanted to be healed anymore.

 

**Love**

**  
**Diner food, not as much of that fast food crap as people thought, but diner food with real plates and a slice of fresh pie for dessert.  Never admitting, even to himself, that what he really wanted was a wooden table with scuffs from years of use, a doorway into a warm kitchen, and the twenty some years of memories and laughter that he never had there.  But when the diner scenes were too much even for him he went back to the crap food as long as he could, crushing empty wrappers into balls as he tried to savor the taste.  Miles of trash cans across the country filled to the brim with his attempts to hold off the past.

Seeing so much bad in the world can make it hard to want to see the good after a while.  Why bother trying to see the bright spots when it is all going to be splattered in red before long?  His baby, the road, and his family.  That’s all he wants, all he needs.  He tells himself to take a break, take time to just drive, but there’s always something else to do, somewhere to go, someone to save.

 

**Acceptance**

  
Sometimes family is blood, sometimes it isn’t, and sometimes it is the ragged group of people sitting at a booth in some loud bowling alley trying to pretend they haven’t seen the darkness creeping in to the world.  Sometimes the white knight on a horse riding in to save the day was really just a kid in his dad’s car needing to be saved himself.  Sometimes the world goes to hell and sometimes there are people who will stand up for what they believe in, even if no one believes in them.  Sometimes you will have to claw your way into a group, carve yourself a niche, and then find you don’t want to be there at all.  Sometimes you will trip walking down the street and the people that catch you are the ones you didn’t even know you were looking for and they have a cozy spot all ready for you to make your own.

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I have a lot of Dean feels and those lead to random places.


End file.
